First thing first: I am not the one to be pregnant here! Let me be married first, enjoy my honeymoon, buy a house, get a bigger salary, feel ready and… just kidding. But for real, I am not the one pregnant, yet.
However, I am experiencing a sort of baby boom around me lately. It’s the age, one might say… And whereas five years ago my conversations with my friends were about boys, makeup and where to go out that night, now we are more into breastfeeding (or not), organic laundry detergent (or not), lifetime mortgage (or… yes), and other light topics. But I like it: I just love babies and I am so happy my friends have started before me so I can steal all their good advice.
They lied to us
Having said that, I always had a doubt that pregnancy wasn’t the ethereal, replenishing moment of symbiosis with the beautiful baby-to-come that everybody (especially moms) is telling us. And after speaking with some of my close “pregger” friends (the other mom-to-be I know kept embellishing the truth…), I realized that there are quite a number of false rumors around this whole child-bearing thing.
I wonder if a confederation of moms that have promised to never tell the truth exists, so the other women keep populating the planet? Or perhaps this is just true, your baby makes you forget all the bad aspects of being pregnant. Either way, I remain convinced our society still doesn’t accept that a woman can not like to be pregnant, as much as it condemns women who chose not to have kids. But that’s another topic…
Let’s restore the truth
My BFF Coline accepted to answer my questions. She is 28 and currently lives in Paris. Her Franco-American baby was highly desired, however, the pregnancy didn’t go exactly as planned.
N.B. Coline’s opinion certainly doesn’t represent the opinion of the 3 billion women living on Earth. But still, I believe her experience can interest others.
My interview with Coline
How did you find out you were pregnant?
I was late in my period, although that doesn’t mean anything because I am often late. But my breasts were hurting a lot. My office is located on three floors and every time I was running up and down the stairs, I was feeling like they were falling off. That was the first sign. Then I took a pregnancy test and found out I was 3 or 4 weeks pregnant.
Given it is your first baby, how did your friends and family react?
Well, I told my co-worker first as I took the pregnancy test at work – she is really proud about that. My boyfriend was thrilled too, even though he’s not the type to jump up and down for news. I called my parents a couple of days after we found out, they were really excited as they weren’t expecting it. Then I announced it to my friends. Actually one of my best friends started crying (editor’s note: she’s talking about me here!!). I told most of my other friends a few weeks after. I would have waited longer (the classical 3 months) but then I started to feel really sick and stuck in bed, and I didn’t want to lie about why I couldn’t leave home. They were excited but some of them were also feeling bad for me because I wasn’t really enjoying it.
What are the perks and disadvantages of being pregnant?
Perks: my hair! My hair is great as I don’t have to wash it that much. I don’t know whether it is really the pregnancy that doesn’t make it greasy or just the fact that since I was sick for 4 months I barely took a shower and my hair got used to being not washed. Sexy! Now I can wash my hair only once a week instead of once every two days before pregnancy. So yep, my hair is great. That’s also super cool to get a seat on the metro and the bus. (Even if it’s because you’re too big and too weak to be standing!)
Disadvantages: Where-do-I-start? I felt really bad for the first three-fourth months. By “really bad” I mean lying in bed all day and throwing up every day. And I lost a lot of weight. That was not great as I stayed in my bed for months just looking at the ceiling and my cat… Then, I would say that it is hard to get used to the new shape of your body. It changes a lot and you have absolutely no control over it, that can seem strange. Some love it, some don’t. These changes can be really hard to accept, it was for me and still is. Also, all the articles and stuff you read about pregnancy online and in magazines make you believe you have to be thrilled and love your pregnancy experience – which you can, but you don’t have to. And if you are not quite enjoying it you can feel bad for yourself and for not loving it as much as other people do. You always wonder if you are normal not to feel the same way as others. And there is the food. All these French cheeses and meats that you’re not allowed to eat anymore… I think I should stop right now with the disadvantages 😉 Overall, I would say that it is hard to accept a drastic change of your way of being and living, because of a tiny little peanut growing inside you, that has so much power already.
Overall, how much did you enjoy your pregnancy? What’s the hardest part?
Did I enjoy my pregnancy? Not that much. I am super happy to be pregnant in the sense that I do want a child, and I am glad to start a family of my own. But I didn’t really enjoy the experience of pregnancy because I didn’t feel great for 8 months. Sorry people…
The hardest part was the fact that I was not expecting to feel so bad. Because that is not what you read and hear all your life about pregnancy. I had not given too many thoughts about it before getting pregnant but I had assumed that I would love it like everybody else. But I didn’t. For example, I couldn’t wait to have a baby bump, but once there, it kind of disgusted me. I couldn’t wait to feel the baby’s first moves in my belly, but after the first few times, I really got tired of it, as my little monster is really good at kicking the ribs as hard as he can. And it hurts! And not expecting to not love it was really disappointing and made it so much harder to accept it.
What do you feel are the worst lies ever about pregnancy?
Here you go, I just answered! There was no glowing part for me, at all. So not everybody is happy and shiny when pregnant.
How often do you envision the future: your baby’s look/personality, you as a mom, your life as a family of 3?
Not often. I find that I live my pregnancy step by step. Since it is not very easy, I don’t think too much about the future. For now, I am still pregnant and the next step is the delivery in a couple of weeks. Then we’ll see.
How long until your due date?
Four weeks in the French system. And three weeks in the rest of the world’s system. Almost there!
Quickfire questions to finish:
Expecting a boy or a girl? A BOY
Missing more sushi or cold cuts? RACLETTE & SAUCISSON
(editor’s note: French cheese and cold cut specialties)
Old or modern name? HAHA. NICE TRY. SECRET 🙂
(editor’s note: she knows I am trying hard to guess the name!)
Giving birth at home or in the hospital? PLEAAAAASE HOSPITAL. YES YES YES EPIDURAL.
The first thing you’ll do after giving birth? RACLETTE & SAUCISSON (OR SLEEP?)
You’ll do it all over again: yes or no? I GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT IN A COUPLE OF YEARS?!
What are your thoughts? Any mom-to-be out there wishing to share their opinion as well?